Anybody struggling with a mental illness will know that maybe their own mind is like uncharted territory; a new place, somewhere you’re too scared to venture into. You may have crept past it all too many times yet the stark unfamiliarity of the interior is a constant burden. I feel like my head is an ultra mysterious place and I’ve never got beyond the front door. This is because of Dave the bouncer. You know the character I’m talking about. He’s big and burly and balding and he won’t let me enter. Apparently my dress isn’t short enough or whatever. It’s obvious I don’t make the cut. 

  Dave is a dish you might call.. For want of a better phrase.. ‘A plate de shite’ and he is served up COLD. Dave is when you can’t think straight for sadness and negativity. Dave won’t let you do the things you enjoy. He’ll hold up his big ‘ol muscly arms and shout and scream at you until you skulk away from the door. Sometimes, I can’t get out of bed for the weight of Dave like led perched on my brain. He’ll bounce around on my chest and slap me in face. Dave is a bully.

Do you know what? Today Dave beat me. He pinned me to the ground and left me for dead. And like that, he’s ruining relationships with friends, soiling plans with boyfriends. Dave has no compassion and does not care. But once I scrape myself off the floor, I know I’m one step closer to beating him once and for all.

It is so important to remember that your personal Dave i.e. Pete or Nick can be beaten. If we work hard enough I think we all know we can break our doors down. It’s a work in progress but we will make it. So day by day, chip away at Dave material. Pick at him the way he has broken you down. One day, he’ll be small enough to push aside and guess what? We will be able to regain control of our own lives.

Emily x

Be Body Positive 

Do you dread that moment? You know the one. You step into the shower. Drop the garment armour. You’re forced to check the damage. Maybe you’ll prod your stomach. Thighs.. Arms.. Bottom.. Oh god.. You’ll quickly reach for the forgiving arms of a large, fluffy towel..
Sound familiar?
We all know that it is tough to be delighted with what lurks under that towel unless you happen to be Kelly Brook. With the pressures of attaining ‘summer bodies’, magazine spreads smothered with supposedly perfect specimens of women and the blurred lines between ‘true beauty’ and that manufactured by Instagram filters, we can’t be to blame for gazing down at cake-filled bumps in our stomachs and doubting ourselves. That does not mean however the we can’t be body positive.

I think (or at least I hope) that sometimes we feel good about our bodies too. Yes. You may well sometimes wake up and decide ‘You know what, I feel like Beyonce today.’ So tell the world. Scream it. Post a full length mirror photo on Twitter or any other social media site and tag #bodyposi or #bodypositive. Inspire all of your pals to do the same and have confidence in their individual shapes, curves and assets. The best bit? Before you know it, the tag acts as a one-size-fits-all. If we take the initiative to post a photo like this, we are building a vault of ALL the unique and beautiful body shapes out there and taking steps towards worldwide recognition that we are all so individual; how can we all possibly be squeezed into a narrow, size 8 beauty bracket?

As for me, I’m still waiting for my Beyonce moment. But as soon as it hits me I will be spreading the

Emily x

The Football Girled Cup

For the first time since 1990, England sees itself scoring a place in the World Cup Semi Finals. Surprising to some, the team that tackled their way to the top was indeed our WOMEN’S team.

Of course, for centuries male chauvinistic attitudes have been leached out into the world of sport; the media coverage of sport is predominantly male. Male players recieve more pay, publicity and recognition than their female counterparts of the same sporting standard. Men 1 – 0 Women.

“The biggest disparity appears to be in football where Arsenal won both the men’s and women’s FA Cup this [last] year, but while the men were given £1.8 million, Arsenal Ladies received £5,000 for their win. (BBC)”

How’s that for a ball to the crotch?

Perhaps more importantly, the recognition of female footy players has taken a red card worthy blow. Just this morning did my own father utter the words on the topic of the female footballing victory:

“But the manager was male”

Just like that did my dad dismiss the sheer talent of female players. ( It required restraint not to shove a half time orange in his face). That was the moment I realised the extent of sporting bias towards men. 

Isn’t it time that female sporting success was accepted, highlighted, and celebrated? Now’s the time to rejoice women’s sporting achievements with such vigor that might have dominated England had our male football team actually sauntered into the World Cup Semis years before we grew that beard and started to require walking sticks and aging creams. 

Men 1 – 1 Women.

  Emily x

Common Misconceptions

We all share the same fatal flaw: self doubt. If you are anything like me, your head will often look somewhat like this:

  1. ugly 
  2. fat
  3. spotty
  4. socially awkward

Am I right? I know I’m right. But we aren’t all doomed to be hopelessly lost in this self-loathing forever. We have to make room amongst our 50% food, 50% sex teenage mentality to train ourselves to be positive; to mould our mental lists into something like this:

  1. beauty is in the eye of the beholder
  2. everyone’s body shape is unique, and each and every one is beautiful
  3. think to yourself ‘so what if I have a teeny tiny pimple?’ Spots are caused by so many different things. Hormones. Stress. Exam-junk-food diets. So naturally, don’t stress about your spots and you’ll have clear skin in no time. WHEYYYY!! And if not, we all go through it. Wack on a little bit of concealer and hold your head high which leads me on to my next point..
  4. CONFIDENCE!! I know it sounds easier said than done, but until you truly can achieve confidence, fake it. Yes that’s right. Fake it like a barbie doll. Fake it like you completely deny fancying the pants off Harry Styles when your mates ask. Once you start to ACT like you’ve got this, everything will seem easy peesy! Confidence is attractive, so forget the judgy little guy sitting in your brain and putting you down! Show him who is boss

Emily x


Okay.. so Turnipnops is a place where I believe ANYTHING can happen! I’ll provide witty tips, tricks, ramblings from my dumbass teenage brain, pictures and photos and try to crank a smile out of my readers whenever it is needed! Feel free to ask for advice on anything at all (no matter how awkward and sticky?!)

So enjoy! And here, may the banter begin. Please enjoy these fluffy little bundles of joy alongside a top lad in a fetching raincoat (which happens to be brighter than my future by the way).Here’s to commemorating my first post.

Emily x